15 Best Paulie Walnuts Quotes in ‘The Sopranos,’ Ranked


HBO’s The Sopranos is considered one of many biggest tv dramas of all time and even a long time after the stunning finale, the collection stays on the prime of viewers’ listing of favorites. All through the present’s six-season run, The Sopranos received over twenty Emmy Awards, and at this time, it’s remembered for its groundbreaking writing, and an general phenomenal forged that portrayed a number of the most unforgettable characters in tv historical past. Out of the lengthy listing of iconic characters, one which stands out from the remainder for a number of causes is the basic wiseguy, Paulie ‘Walnuts” Gualtieri, who’s performed by Tony Sirico.




One motive why Paulie is such a memorable and authentic character is that Sirico, who, at one level, was an precise gangster, provides his private expertise to the position that no different character within the present possesses. Paulie shortly grew to become a fan favourite, who was identified for his lack of a filter and hysterical quotes akin to “Phrase to the smart: bear in mind Pearl Harbor,” and “Whattaya hear? Whattaya say?!” Out of all of the characters’ distinctive moments and hilarious one-liners, these are the 15 finest Paulie Walnuts quotes in The Sopranos, ranked!

The Sopranos

Launch Date
January 10, 1999

Creator
David Chase

Seasons
6

Studio
HBO



15 “Horse and buggies do not depend.”

“Eloise” – Season 4, Episode 12

Tony Sirico looking at Frances Esemplare and Fran Anthony in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO

In Season 4, episode 12, “Eloise,” Paulie’s mom, Nucci (Frances Esemplare), is concerned in a minor fender bender with Cookie (Anna Berger) and Minn (Fran Anthony) at a neighborhood grocery retailer. As Paulie arrives on the hospital, the physician is chatting with Minn and Nucci about what occurred and if Minn, who was the motive force, ought to actually nonetheless be driving. Whereas the physician has a mild, thoughtful method to asking Minn delicate questions, Paulie, alternatively, is not able to displaying such compassion.


From the second followers met Minn Matrone, Paulie has virtually continually cracked jokes at her expense and busted balls and, even in a fragile state of affairs, he has zero empathy for the girl. Since his mom was concerned, this solely makes Paulie extra agitated by Minn’s passive-aggressive solutions to the physician’s query, so it is no shock that he hits again at her with a intelligent crack about her age. The one-liner is a basic snarky comment that might be anticipated from Paulie, making it one of many character’s quickest in addition to among the best.

14 “They ate pootsie earlier than we gave them the reward of delicacies.”

“46 Lengthy” – Season 1, Episode 2

Tony Sirico looking straight ahead while Vincent Pastore is standing behind him in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO

When AJ’s (Robert Iler) science instructor has his automobile stolen, Tony has Paulie and Huge Pussy (Vincent Pastore) go seek for whoever stole it and attempt to get it again. Solely armed with the clue that one of many guys works at a sequence espresso store, Paulie and Huge Pussy go to every location looking for which one the carjacker works at. Whereas Huge Pussy asks questions, Paulie turns into irritated at the truth that the espresso outlets promote gadgets and merchandise that had been initially from Italy and begins to really feel he is owed some sort of minimize of the earnings.


In Season 1, episode 2,”’46 Lengthy,” Paulie’s obsession over believing that America has stolen from Italian tradition is simply pure comedy gold and one of many character’s funniest rants. As he stares on the wall of things with such an ominous, stern expression, it is apparent that he takes this “situation” personally and can not seem to let it go. His quote about taking credit score for enhancing American delicacies is simply the icing on the cake of Paulie’s over-dramatic complaining, however when he steals an espresso maker, slipping it beneath his coat, it simply makes the whole scene one in every of Paulie’s all-time greatest.

13 “He jumped out of the tree and got here at me with a chainsaw. I obtained a proper to defend myself, Tone.”

“The place’s Johnny?” – Season 5, Episode 3

Tony Sirico as Paulie Walnuts in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO


When Paulie and Feech La Manna (Robert Loggia) ignite a turf warfare over the territory of a neighborhood, they comply with sit down with Tony, who tries to get the 2 hard-headed mafiosos to come back to some mutual settlement. As every of them tells Tony their aspect of the story, they, in fact, embellish issues a bit, however Paulie, all the time being one for the dramatics, goes to absolutely the extremes by portraying his aspect as if his life was in peril.

Paulie has a foul behavior of stretching or fabricating the reality to advance his place in a state of affairs and in Season 5, episode 3, “The place’s Johnny?,” he tells Tony a flat-out lie that additionally paints a humorous picture in followers’ minds. Fans know that Paulie is the one who obtained bodily within the confrontation and, since nobody there can say in any other case, he takes that as a chance to arrange a distinct situation that he hopes will sway Tony to aspect with him. The quote is sort of one thing somewhat boy would declare to keep away from getting in hassle, which is what makes this one in every of Paulie’s top-tier strains.


12 “Satanic black magic!”

“From The place to Eternity” – Season 2, Episode 9

Tony Sirico as Paulie Walnuts in The Sopranos From Where to Eternity episode
Picture by way of HBO

When Christopher (Michael Imperioli) is recovering within the hospital, he goes into cardiac and respiratory arrest and is medically lifeless for a minute. The medical doctors are in a position to revive him, however when he tells Paulie and Tony that he was in hell and provides them a message from Mikey Palmice (Al Sapienza), Paulie cannot shake the sensation that Chrissy could also be telling the reality. In an effort to get a solution, he decides to go see a medium, however he is fully horrified when the medium mentions his first hit and the likelihood {that a} bunch of lifeless persons are following him round.


In season 2, episode 9, ‘From The place to Eternity,’ Paulie intestine response to the medium is to enter a violent protection mode hoping it should disprove what the medium has advised him. Between believing the medium is not faux and the others within the group changing into interested by Paulie, he resorts to calling the entire thing only a bunch of hocus-pocus, hoping it should defuse issues. Paulie might have executed so many various issues on this state of affairs, however his remark about it being a piece of satanism is simply ludicrous but additionally hysterical. His animated facial expressions and his over-the-top tone are different essential parts that cement this as one of many character’s greatest one-liners.

11 “The boss of this household advised you you are gonna be Santa Claus. You are Santa Claus. So shut the f**ok up about it.”

“To Save Us All from Devil’s Energy” – Season 3, Episode 10

Tony Sirico yelling at Steve Schirripa with Steven Van Zandt, James Gandolfini and Michael Imperioli watching behind him in The Soprano
Picture by way of HBO

Now that Huge Pussy is gone, the fellows understand that they want somebody to decorate up as Santa Claus for his or her annual vacation social gathering. Whereas Tony and the remainder of the fellows go on the job, they resolve to elect Bobby Bacala as their new Saint Nick, however Bacala tries to persuade them that he isn’t the suitable man for the half. Whereas the opposite guys sort of preserve pushing him to do it, Paulie takes a extra in-your-face method.


In Season 3, episode 10, “To Save Us All from Devil’s Energy,” Paulie has zero persistence for Bacala’s whining and principally threatens him to put on the pink go well with or else. For most individuals, that is an uncommon technique to go about getting somebody to conform to one thing, however for Paulie, it is typical for him to decide on potential violence over who will play the a part of Father Christmas. Though the confrontation goes towards the entire goal of the vacation season, followers aren’t too shocked by Paulie’s response contemplating, effectively, he’s a gangster.

10 “Oof, Madone! He appears to be like horrible!”

“Mayhem” – Season 6, Episode 3

Tony Sirico as Paulie Walnuts standing with Jamie Lynn-Sigler as Meadow Soprano in a doorway in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO


After being shot by Uncle Junior (who’s performed by The Godfather: Part II star Dominic Chianese), Tony barely survives and is connected to a ventilator whereas preventing for his life. Because the hospital begins to permit some non-family guests, Paulie is escorted to Tony’s room by his daughter, Meadow (Jamie Lynn-Sigler), who tells Paulie the way it’s necessary to keep away from making adverse feedback and concentrate on discussing constructive topics. Paulie nods as if he understands, however as quickly as he sees the important state Tony is in, it is obvious that he did not hear something Meadow simply stated.

Contemplating the slightly somber, miserable tone of Season 6, episode 3, “Mayhem,” Paulie’s easy remark about Tony’s situation is definitely a number of the finest comedian aid that many viewers wanted on the time and likewise speaks volumes about Paulie’s true, blunt nature. Between Paulie’s on-par comedic timing and brutal honesty, that is simply among the best (and funniest) Paulie quotes in The Sopranos.

9 “Subsequent the blind will see, and the lame will stroll.”

“To Save Us All From Devil’s Energy” – Season 3, Episode 10

Tony Sirico as Paulie Walnuts sitting at a dinner table with his hands up in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO


As the vacations method, Tony, Silvio (Steven Van Zandt), and Paulie are all having dinner collectively when Paulie attracts their consideration to Artie’s (John Ventimiglia) spouse, Charmaine (Kathrine Narducci), who’s carrying a fitted, barely revealing gown that enhances her determine. Whereas the fellows stare with their jaws dropped, Paulie cracks a remark about Mainey’s new look with a little bit of Christmas spirit.

Relating to Mainey’s flattering wardrobe in Season 3, episode 10, “Save Us All From Devil’s Energy,” Paulie can not help himself and throws out one in every of his finest quotes, which manages to get just a few chuckles from Tony and Sil. Though Mainey has all the time been straightforward on the eyes, Paulie hilariously dramatizes the second as if her flattering apparel is a miracle of the Christmas season, which, in fact, is true to his wise-ass humorousness.


8 “You did not go to hell, you went to purgatory, my good friend.”

“From The place to Eternity” – Season 2, Episode 9

Tony Sirico as Paulie Walnuts standing in a hospital room in The Sopranos-1
Picture by way of HBO

Whereas Paulie is unable to get Christopher’s so-called go to to hell off his thoughts, he ultimately turns into obsessive about discovering a definitive reply that might clarify all the things. He decides to return to the supply and pays Chrissy a go to to the hospital by himself to ask him extra questions on his expertise. After Chrissy solutions just a few random questions, Paulie involves the “logical” conclusion that Chrissy took a visit to purgatory, not hell.

Paulie’s rationalization about Chrissy’s near-death expertise in Season 2, episode 9, “From The place to Eternity,” is among the funniest scenes in The Sopranos, which reveals how paranoid Paulie may be. As a substitute of flat-out admitting his concern of going to hell, Paulie decides that he must persuade Christopher that he wasn’t in hell and goes to absurd lengths akin to asking if it was sizzling there or explaining what number of years somebody should serve in purgatory earlier than crossing over, making this one in every of Paulie’s finest quotes within the collection.


7 “Your mom was working the bon-bon concession on the Eiffel Tower.”

“46 Lengthy” – Season 1, Episode 2

Tony Sirico sitting at a table next to Steven Van Zandt in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO

Whereas the fellows are hanging out on the Bing, Sivlio asks them their opinion in regards to the Royal household having something to do with the demise of Princess Diana. Paulie responds as if they employed him for the job and that it was the final journey he ever took to Paris. Whereas everybody else understands that he is joking, Christopher would not appear to get it and makes an attempt to name Paulie out, which instantly backfires.

Paulie’s quote in Season 1, episode 2, “46 Lengthy,” is among the character’s most notorious jokes and one in every of many who places Christopher in his place. For no matter motive, Chrissy all the time tries to bust Paulie’s balls, however he often fails miserably going up towards somebody like Paulie who has a talented knack for punching again with a witty quip that usually hits beneath the belt. Some would possibly take offense to Paulie’s quote, however in all honesty, he means no hurt and all the fellows take jabs at one another as a twisted approach of displaying that they care about one another.


6 “I do not write nothin’ down, so I will preserve this quick and candy. You are weak. You are outta management. And you’ve got develop into a humiliation to your self and everybody else.”

“The Sturdy, Silent Sort” – Season 4, Episode 10

Tony Sirico as Paulie Walnuts sitting and pointing his finger at someone in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO

When Christopher’s drug utilization will get out of hand, his girlfriend and one in every of The Sopranos‘ best female characters, Adriana (Drea de Matto), organizes an intervention with all the fellows to talk to Chrissy about his downside and attempt to persuade him to hunt assist. As everybody goes round and shares their emotions about Christopher’s state of affairs, Paulie makes it apparent that not solely does he not consider on this entire intervention factor, however he has little to no sympathy for Chrissy.

In Season 4, episode 10, “The Sturdy, Silent Sort,” Paulie would not waste time and will get proper to the purpose with some harsh (and hilarious) phrases to Chrissy about his drug downside. Tony has coddled Christopher and allowed him to chop corners for almost all of his life and, whereas Paulie’s phrases might come throughout as onerous and insensitive, he isn’t totally fallacious and is definitely displaying Chrissy some much-needed powerful love, which makes this among the best Paulie quotes within the collection.


5 “Ton, you give this man a golf membership, he’d most likely attempt to f**ok it.”

“Commendatori” – Season 2, Episode 4

James Gandolfini as Tony Soprano standing next to Tony Sirico as Paulie Walnuts in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO

When Tony, Christopher, and Paulie journey to Italy, Tony and Paulie have dinner with their pals from the opposite aspect to debate their present automobile scheme and hopefully meet with the Don himself, Zi Vittorio (Vittorio Duse). In direction of the tip of the night, Vittorio arrives along with his daughter, Annalisa (Sofia Milos), and shortly after Tony introduces himself, he is caught off guard when he realizes that Don Vittorio is not all there.

All through “Commendatori,” Paulie is his typical obnoxious self, however fortunately, he solely shares his ideas about Don Vittorio with Tony, which additionally paints a slightly fascinating picture in viewers’ minds. It is positively one in every of Paulie’s extra distasteful jokes, however contemplating how a number of the Italians had been treating him and Tony that night time, it is nonetheless a humorous quote and primarily one in every of Paulie’s all-time finest.


4 “Phrase to the smart: bear in mind Pearl Harbor.”

“Sentimental Training” – Season 5, Episode 6

Tony Sirico as Paulie Walnuts throwing his hand in the air in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO

As Tony’s cousin, Steve Buscemi‘s Tony B. tries to regulate to life as a straight-laced civilian, his employer, Sungyon Kim (Henry Yuk), notices how onerous of a employee he’s and his willpower to go the state therapeutic massage board exams. He propositions that they go into enterprise collectively and open a therapeutic massage place in one in every of his storefronts, which Tony B. gratefully accepts. Later, whereas finding out for his upcoming examination, Tony B. tells the fellows about Kim’s beneficiant provide, which invokes Paulie to disclose his personal ignorance.


On this episode, Paulie tries to offer Tony B. some phrases of knowledge with a slightly offensive and inaccurate remark about going into enterprise with Kim. Not solely is Paulie’s touch upon the overly dramatic aspect, however it is mindless, because the Japanese are those who attacked Pearl Harbor and Kim is from South Korea. Whether or not it is meant to point out Paulie’s discontent with anybody from Asia or simply his plain stupidity, both approach, how he leaves the fellows fully dumbfounded along with his off-colored comment is solely priceless.

3 “I used to be born, grew up, spent just a few years within the military, just a few years within the can, and right here I’m, half a smart man. So what?”

“The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti” – Season 1, Episode 8

Tony Sirico as Paulie Walnuts in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO

When Christopher realizes he isn’t some big-shot mobster, he turns into depressed that he isn’t on the authorities’ radar and feels as if his life won’t ever quantity to something. Whereas Chrissy is moping at dwelling, Paulie visits him to exit for an evening in town, however as quickly as he sees Chrissy’s glum face and the state of his residence, he turns into involved and asks him what is going on on. As Chrissy confides in him, Paulie sheds some gentle on how he is completely content material with how his life has turned out.


Paulie’s quote in Season 1, episode 8, “The Legend of Tennessee Moltisanti,” is among the character’s finest, primarily as a result of it truly sums up Tony Sirico in a nutshell. Like his character, Sirico served throughout World Warfare II and spent a while behind bars, and minus changing into an actor, he’s nonetheless half a smart man who, in the long run, made out fairly effectively for himself. That is additionally one of many few moments the place Paulie shares some legitimate perception into life. Most individuals might have grand plans in thoughts, however typically, the universe has a distinct concept in thoughts and there is nothing nobody can do besides be glad about what they do have of their life.

2 “Whattaya hear, whattaya say?!”

“Watching Too A lot Tv” – Season 4, Episode 7

Tony Sirico greeting the guys at the Bada Bing in The Sopranos
Picture by way of HBO


After doing a minor stint in county jail for a trumped-up gun cost, Paulie is lastly launched and arrives again dwelling on the Bada Bing, the place the fellows have put collectively somewhat welcome dwelling social gathering in his honor. When he walks in, he cheerfully pronounces himself with a cheeky one-liner that emphasizes Paulie’s signature model as a humorous, one-of-a-kind mafioso.

In Season 4, episode 7, “Watching Too A lot Tv,” Paulie’s quote is a reference to James Cagney‘s character within the basic gangster movie, Angels With Soiled Faces. Sirico was a big Cagney fan, stating that he was one in every of his childhood heroes. Contemplating Sirico’s private admiration for Cagney, who’s a pivotal determine within the gangster style, this line is an epic homage to the Hollywood icon, solidifying this as one in every of Paulie’s very best quotes within the present.

1 “You are not gonna consider this. He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. The man was an inside decorator.”

“Pine Barrens” – Season 3, Episode 11

Tony Sirico and Michael Imperioli standing in the middle of the woods in The Sopranos_Pine Barrens
Picture by way of HBO


When Paulie and Christopher go to gather from Slava Malensky’s (identify) good friend, Valery (identify), Paulie will get right into a bodily altercation with Valery and believes he killed him accidentally. As he and Christopher drive out to the Pine Barrens to get rid of the physique, they uncover that Valery continues to be alive and manages to flee, leaving Chrissy and Paulie abandoned within the frozen wilderness. Paulie manages to come up with Tony, who later informs Paulie that Valery is an ex-special ops agent, however with the weak cell sign, Paulie fully misunderstands what Tony says.

Many followers contemplate Season 3, episode 11, “Pine Barrens” to be the greatest episode in The Sopranos, primarily due to the comedic banter and shenanigans between Paulie and Christopher. Paulie misinforming Christopher about Valery just isn’t solely one of many funniest moments within the episode, but additionally the character’s all-time finest quotes. Whereas Paulie is understood to have many communication mix-ups, that is fingers down one high quality in regards to the character that makes him one of the vital beloved.


NEXT: The Best Silvio Dante Quotes in ‘The Sopranos,’ Ranked


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